Writing Yourself A Love Letter - The First Valentine You Should Write Every Year
Last night I had the privilege of hosting a Galentine’s Day party for my VIP group: Brave Boss Babes of Kansas City. I’ve been thinking about this party for about three months leading up to it and was so excited during the entire preparation process! Whenever I get together with this group of very special ladies I know it is going to be a good time!
It is also totally nerve wracking to plan and putting on an event or party of any size. All those doubts about people showing up or not, or having enough to eat or drink, or having enough activities planned to make it worth their time… Yeah. Those don’t go away just because you are excited about the event, and in fact I felt them extra this time around because I knew what we were doing at this get-together was extra special.
See - we do these events fairly often. We have monthly yoga nights led by EH Fitness. We have had done wine and painting nights, trivia nights, pajama parties, self defense events with Athena’s Armor … the list goes on and on! And this is in addition to meeting many of these beautiful Brave Boss Babes every week for empowering, life-changing boudoir experiences. Every time one of these is coming up I get filled with giddy anticipation, nerves, excitement. I lose sleep and my stomach flutters because each one of these gatherings are special in their own way, but this one had an element that specifically made my anticipation jump through the roof!
It being Galentine’s Day (an ode to Leslie Knope of Parks and Rec) I knew that we needed to focus on ladies appreciating and celebrating not only other ladies - but themselves.
As women we are so hard on ourselves.
As women we are so hard on ourselves.
We give and give and give and pour and pour and pour and release so much into the world around us without ever taking time to check in with ourselves and ask ourselves what we need.
We go to work and take care tasks and people there.
We come home and care for our pets, our partners, our children.
We take care of our parents, our siblings, our grandparents.
We run to Target at 9:32PM because we forgot to get a card for our kid’s teacher.
We dash into Walgreens at all hours, in jammies with dirty hair, and pay way too much for that one thing we need but have put off picking up until the absolute last possible moment because we just haven’t had time for that.
We put ourselves last again and again and again and there is a time and place for that. There really is, but sometimes you have to make yourself a priority.
We forget that we are purposefully, lovingly, intrinsically created beings that were formed with such care and grace and attention.
And I don’t like that.
We forget that we are purposefully, lovingly, intrinsically created beings that were formed with such care and grace and attention.
So after everyone arrived at the STUNNING Eighteen Ninety Event Space, got their name tags, played our mixer game, got a plate or two of food (we did an appetizer and dessert potluck and OMG SO MUCH AMAZING FOOD! See the pictures below!) it was time to move onto the big event of the night.
Galentine’s Day box decorating.
I purchased waaaaay too much craft supplies (I was aiming for the DREAM Valentine’s Day box decorating assortment of my childhood). Paint, funny sponge brushes, sparkly paper, glitter puff paint, SO many heart stickers, jewels and, of course, boxes…. It was so fun to watch them all create their incredible works of art. Each box, just like each lady, turned out so differently even though they all had the same supplies!
Seeing that and seeing the time and care they each put into their box made what came next all the more exciting.
You see - they were going to all write Galentine’s to each other. Most of them were total strangers before they came in last night, at best they were casual acquaintances from other Brave Boss Babe events, but they would each write Galentine’s for everyone else. That didn’t seem to freak them out too much, what seemed to have everyone a bit worried was what came first.
The first Galentine to go into their box would be from themselves to themselves.
They had to write themselves a love letter.
They had to write themselves a love letter.
And I have done that enough to know how difficult it can be!
That is why I had prepared a list of prompts to help them move through the process and I want to share that with all of you all now.
But first: some pictures!
Delicate miniature and full sized frosted cupcakes in pastel shades of pinks and purple. LGEmerick Photography
Table full of assorted food from cookies to chip and crackers, to dips. LGEmerick Galentine’s Day Party
Delicate miniature and full sized frosted cupcakes in pastel shades of pinks and purple. LGEmerick Photography Galentine’s Day
Female guests enjoying crafting and creating Galentine’s Day boxes at The Eighteen Ninety Event Space for LGEmerick’s Brave Boss Babe Galentine’s Day Party
Female guests enjoying crafting and creating Galentine’s Day boxes at The Eighteen Ninety Event Space for LGEmerick’s Brave Boss Babe Galentine’s Day Party
Female guests enjoying crafting and creating Galentine’s Day boxes at The Eighteen Ninety Event Space for LGEmerick’s Brave Boss Babe Galentine’s Day Party
HOW TO WRITE YOURSELF A LOVE LETTER
SETTING THE STAGE:
You can write your love letter to yourself anywhere at anytime, but for the optimal experience I recommend the following.
First I like to recommend that you find a place where you feel comfortable. That can be sitting at a desk or on the couch or laying on your bed or the floor. Set the mood. If you like lighting candles or enjoy a specific scent try and have that present. If you like having background noise turn on something non-distracting and quiet in the background (ambient music or white noise works well). Even try to make sure you are wearing clothes that make you feel good if you can. If anything is bunching or pinching or feeling uncomfortable or might distract you from your process try to eliminate it possible.
TOOLS YOU WILL NEED:
A writing implement (pen, pencil, crayon… whatever you enjoy using to write with)
Paper
Or a computer wither either a Google doc open or a notepad application
Optional : You can get an envelope and a stamp and mail yourself this love letter after you write it so you can enjoy having it come back to you in a few days or save it to mail whenever you are near a mailbox for a special surprise later.
A place to store your love letter when you are done with it.
WHAT TO WRITE:
Now that you are all set you can get started. I find the best way to write a love letter to yourself is the follow a series of prompts and fill them as feels natural.
Sometimes we aren’t inspired by certain prompts or they may feel more challenging than we are ready to face. That is fine. What is important is that you focus on what you want to write in the moment and release the rest.
I recommend going through this entire list and picking the four to six prompts that jump out at you as being something that inspires you <3
So get out the pen. Get out that paper. Pull up the document on your screen.
Let’s get to writing!
(this exercise should only take 10-15 minutes. Don’t over think it or linger too long on any one prompt. Remember you are the only one who will ever see this and the only one it is for. You are performing for NO ONE and this is JUST FOR YOU.)
FIRST:
The Subject of Address
This is a love letter to yourself.
What is something you always wanted to be called but never had the opportunity to be?
What is a phrase that makes you feel good, strong, powerful, or seen when used in relation to yourself?
What makes you smile and remember you value when you see it?
For some of us : that is our name.
For others it is something silly or even profane.
There is no wrong answer, but here are some of my favorites when I write to myself:
Hello Honey Angel Flower,
Dearest Darlingest [NAME]
Hi Sweetheart
YO GURL!
Greetings Warrior Princess
These are just suggestions. Feel free to adjust, use, or create your own!
I’d love to know what you come up with in the comments.
SECOND:
The Meat of the Letter
As I stated before we will use this as a place of inspiration. If anything feels forced or inauthentic, move past it. If all of these prompts do not feel right then I would encourage you to ask yourself why you do not feel worthy of any kind of affirmation.
Remember: you were made and created with love and joy.
So if you are struggling that is okay. There are plenty of options here to help inspire you but that is not all you can write. You can write anything you need to, but if you are feeling uninspired or need prompting or help in starting a self care, letting writing process - this is a great place to start.
You do not have to use all of the prompts!
In fact I recommend only grabbing one from each section the first time you go through this exercise.
If you come up with other unique, interesting prompts that work well for you I would love to know!
Leave them in the comments below so I can add them to the list with credit to you!
ACCEPTING PROMPTS
I love you because [ INSERT REASON HERE ]
You overcame [ INSERT REASON HERE ] and I am proud of you.
I am thankful you are [ INSERT REASON HERE ]
I am grateful you got me through [ INSERT REASON HERE ]
I appreciate that you [ INSERT REASON HERE ]
I am proud of you because [ INSERT REASON HERE ]
You are FREAKING AMAZING because [ INSERT REASON HERE ]
You are beautiful because [ INSERT REASON HERE ]
You are unlike anyone else because [ INSERT REASON HERE ]
I am glad you were born because INSERT REASON HERE ]
RELEASING PROMPTS
I forgive you for [ INSERT SOMETHING HERE ]
I release you from [ INSERT SOMETHING HERE ]
It wasn’t your fault when/that [ INSERT SOMETHING HERE ]
[ THIS ] was a mistake, but it does not define you.
It is okay to be wrong and you accept that you were wrong [ HERE ]
You are someone who is growing and you have grown out of [ NEGATIVE BEHAVIOR HERE ]
[ THAT THING ] happened to you - but it is not who you are.
It is okay to not be perfect and I release myself from trying to be perfect [ IN THIS AREA ].
LOOKING FORWARD PROMPTS
The world is lucky to have you because [ INSERT REASON HERE ]
What I wish for you is [ WISH GOES HERE ]
Tomorrow is another day and it will start with [ TOMORROW’S NEW INTENTION HERE ]
You may have failed in the past. You may fail again, but you am trying to [ INSERT INTENTION HERE ]
In the next [ INSERT TIME PERIOD HERE ] I will accomplish [ YOUR INTENTION ]
THIRD:
In Closing
This is kind of an open field. You can write anything you need to write in this space. It will be different for everyone.
If the previous prompts inspired you to write something else, to expound, or took you down another path this is an excellent place to honor that. Let yourself write this letter knowing that perfection is the not the aim.
Let yourself write this letter knowing that perfection is the not the aim.
The process of writing the letter is just as important as the letter itself, but I do believe in setting intentions or else this all just ends in a wash.
It is important to write these letters but it is also important to have meaning behind them!
So this final step is INTENTION ORIENTED!
You are going to set a goal for yourself.
And I know this is scary.
I didn’t even have my Brave Boss Babes do this at the event because I knew it would probably leave most of them feeling flustered or confused, but it is important to do it in a space where you feel safe and you can really sink into what you want.
Because kind words are lovely, but if you do not back them up with action you are going to get no where!
I want THE BEST for you!
That is why I am Certified Professional Boudoir Photographer. That is why I spend dozens of hours on events (typically) at no cost to the attendees. That is why I am always trying to improve every aspect of myself, my business, my relationships, my services.
I am constantly setting goals for myself with dates attached to them.
Do I meet them all?
HECK NO!
But I meet a lot of them and I know that would NOT be the case if I were not
So your final step on your love letter to yourself is to set a goal, a date, an intention, an idea of what your want your future to be in writing.
So your final step on your love letter to yourself is to set a goal, a date, an intention, an idea of what your want your future to be in writing.
Here are some ideas for starters:
I set a date with myself that by [ DATE/TIME ] I will accomplish [ GOAL/INTENTION ]
By [ DATE/TIME ] I will [ DO APPOINTED THING ]
I know that my goals are big, but right now I am feeling small, so today I set out to do [ MICRO GOAL / SOMETHING ACCOMPLISHED IN LESS THAN 4 WEEKS ] by [ DATE IN THE NEXT FOUR WEEKS ].
I am feeling expansive and want to plan for my future so I set out to lay the foundation for [ MACRO GOAL / SOMETHING ACCOMPLISHED IN 1-5 YEARS ] by [ MAX THREE YEARS IN THE FUTURE ].
The biggest thing to remember is that this is YOUR love letter to YOURSELF.
Don’t lie.
Don’t cheat.
You have no one to impress.
You have nothing to prove.
Sister: you are worthy of love.
If you have more questions about why I believe you are a uniquely created, purposefully made, worth of love individual - feel free to contact me!
I’d love to chat more :)
Otherwise - feel free to share you love letters to yourself below!
Group of beautiful women holding their Galentine’s Day boxes and smiling at the camera for LGEmerick’s Brave Boss Babe Galentine’s Day party at the Eighteen Ninety Event Space.
