Why Portrait Photography?

It isn’t hard for me to say why portrait photography - especially glamorous female portraits - called to me. 

The relationship a woman has with her own body is something powerful and easily exploited. For me, my own relationship with my body was incredibly unhealthy for over a decade. I engaged in harmful behaviors like militant control over my calorie intake, chasing fad diets, over exercising, and judging others for not fitting a standard I never fit in myself.

So when I found photography and learned to see that my body just as it was, as a good gift… frankly I was SHOOK! To me, it is so much more than photos. Sure these pictures can be about about self-acceptance, body positivity, and art. But it is also about being a conduit for women to experience an element of their essence, to connect more deeply with the irrevocable, created beauty.

But it is also because it is fun, joy, and freedom! It is about getting glammed up and laughing your butt off. It's about the transformation that takes place between the time you walk in my studio and walk back out that door. It is about feeling beautiful, and that is something I believe every person deserves. 

I started shooting portrait photography because I saw the beauty in everyone that came in our door. I believed I could show any person what I see through my camera. Women tell me they feel they can't look "that beautiful;" because they feel too tall, weigh too much, or have too many stretch marks. I loved showing them the photos from their shoot and showing that they CAN, in fact, feel beautiful. Seeing their reactions  to their pictures changed me. From that moment on, I knew I had found my passion.

It was now my job to be a mirror for my clients. Not the mirror that the world shows you that shames you, but the one who sees past all of the lumps, bruises, and imperfections. The one that shows you your sparkle.

The Transformation

The transformation that take place in our studio is the best part of the whole experience for us. When a woman arrives in my studio, most of the time she's nervous, sometimes even visibly nervous. Shaky hands and voices, sweaty hands and faces are things I see all the time. Once they sit in the chair to get their hair and makeup done, the transformation begins. The client slowly starts to shed all those signs and feelings of nervousness and anxiousness. 

Then the shoot would start. The first series is to get you all warmed up. When I show the client the back of the camera after the first series, I usually hear "OH MY GOSH, that's me? NO WAY that's me!". As we go into the next series and then the next, the laughter and smiles start to come out. Then she starts to feel BEAUTIFUL. And you can tell that it's starting to click with them. 

By the time we finish the session and go into the reveal, we're friends. We've just shared an experience that they will always remember. We've laughed and shared stories about our lives. 

Once I show them their pictures on my big TV, their jaws drop. They see themselves like they never have before. This is one of the amazing things about boudoir photography. I get a chance to show them how I see them, how everyone around them sees them, how their husband sees them, and be their mirror. When they walk out that door, they're smiling so big and they can't wait to tell all their friends about what they just did.

A Little Piece of My Story

I grew up in a deeply conservative community where the female body was somehow both exalted and shamed. There was shame in thinking or believing my external shape was beautiful. That somehow It was a tightrope I fell off every day for many reasons, but the biggest one was that I was always externalizing my value.

That externalizing led to compulsive exercise, meticulous calorie counting, and always hiding from a camera so I wouldn’t be faced with all the ways I perceived I wasn’t measuring up to the impossible ideal I’d constructed in my head. 

Then, ten years ago, I decided to pursue a photo project where I created an artistic photo of myself every day for an entire year. The first few months were absolute torture! I hated looking at myself, was always looking for the things that I could improve - change - but then something shifted.

It wasn’t that my body changed, it was that my relationship with my body changed. As I learned more and more about posing, photography, lighting, etc I started seeing myself with a new lens. I saw my beauty. I saw the unique joy that I had in existing in this body of mine, “perfect” or not. I saw ME! 

And that is when I realized that photography could truly showcase

And yes! I’ve had photoshoots!

Here are a few of my favorites from one I had at a photo conference in Tampa Florida. These were a bit impromptu - I didn’t have a lot of time to prepare and had to pick up a dress from a thrift store! But because the photographers were so amazing I still got these stunning photos that I’ll treasure forever.

I have had multiple photo shoot experiences with some of the most accomplished photographer in the United States, and each time I still feel my nerves. I never let that hold me back though. Why? Because I know that these photographers, just like me, have invested in the proper training and education. I KNOW beyond a shadow of a doubt that when I see the photos they took of me I will see nothing but the beauty I discovered doing my own photo project. 

And that is the power of good photography. That is the joy of serving through the art of photography. It is presenting actual hard copy proof to women of all ages, stages, and phases that they are irrefutably gorgeous!

Being able to see that changed my life, and now it is my joy to do the same for others.