"Fat" Is NOT a Bad Word
Fat.
So many of us hear that word and cringe. Many consider it to be a bad word. It denotes laziness, or worse. But why, how?
How did a word that is just a natural descriptor become something we see as ‘bad’ or ‘insulting’? Why did the word ‘fat’ become something we use as judgment against those around us? When did ‘fat’ become an insult?
The word "fat" is NOT a bad word, but it's been weaponized as an insult. You may have heard of the term ‘body shaming’ It is a phenomenon that has been going on for so long that even kids as young as four don’t want to be friends with other kids they see as ‘fat’. That means this is generational. Kids don’t come out thinking the word ‘fat’ equals ‘unwanted’ or ‘less than’. They learn that from the adults around them.
Notice how it is totally okay to call someone ‘thicc’ - but it would be offensive to call them ‘fat’.
Or how someone might call themselves chubby, curvy, big, or soft - but ‘fat’ is off the table.
Why is that? Why do we skirt around a word that is a simple descriptor? Why is it okay to say that someone is sturdy, healthy, or ‘has more to love’, but not that they are fat?
When did ‘fat’ become a bad word?
Well a big part of it has to do with our cultural ideals of beauty and the ideas that we attribute to what is good or best.
Our culture exalts the ideas of self-control, reaching goals, and success above all else. Somewhere in the mix - the idea of being fat meant that you were the opposite of these desired traits.
If you were fat somehow that means you had no self-control, you couldn’t reach your goals, and you were unsuccessful. Somehow the size of a person’s body became the outward metric for their internal worth.
… I bet you can guess how we feel about that.
WE THINK IT IS RIDICULOUS!
So why is this happening?
Look. We aren’t social scientists.
But that doesn’t mean we can’t point out the obvious. We fear ‘fat’.
There is a term some of you may know called ‘fatphobia’. As you can probably deduce - fatphobia literally means the fear of being fat (by yourself or others). This fear is something that many carry internally without even realizing it.
But I ask you: how often to you purchase ‘low-fat’ products because you think it makes you ‘better’? In fact some ‘reduced’ or ‘low-fat’ products may cause more harm than good!
Have you ever looked at a fat person and automatically assumed they were unhealthy or unmotivated simply because of their appearance? Have you ever thought that someone was less deserving of good things simply because of their size? Have you ever thought that someone was lazy or didn’t care about their appearance simply because you perceived them as fat?
Did you ever notice that until the past few years we would NEVER see a model with fat rolls, cellulite, or anything other than an incredible slim figure?
If you aren’t sure I challenge you to be curious as you go about your days. When you see someone who is not what we consider an ideal size or shape in the grocery store, or a restaurant, or at the park - what are your assumptions about them? What do you think about their worth, their value, their work ethic?
Maybe you only have positive thoughts about others. Maybe this isn’t an issue for you.
But maybe when you look in the mirror you have thoughts of shame or disgust because of the shape of your body. You think that you are worth less love, less joy, less opportunity because of your shape. That is the same thing - only you have to live with it inside of yourself!
So where did this come from?
If you're curious if it has always been the case… the answer is a big NO!
In a book titled "Fat Shame: Stigma and the Fat Body in American Culture" by Amy Erdman Farrell, she traces the shift from revering heavy bodies to the preference of smaller shapes to mid-nineteenth century England when the first diet books were published.
And from there, began the history of body shaming! But prior to all that, these 18th Century Female Portraits show that all bodies used to be accepted and were seen as beautiful!
So shouldn't we reclaim that? Like… now?!
Shouldn’t we take back the word ‘fat’ as a word that is just a description of a body and not of someone’s worth? Shouldn’t we remember that the words ‘fat’ and ‘beautiful’ are not mutually exclusive? Shouldn’t we allow the word ‘fat’ to exist without it being synonymous with negative words like ‘lazy’, ‘unhealthy’, or ‘bad’?
Fat is NOT a bad word.
FAT and BEAUTIFUL are not separate thoughts.
Let's start over and try to unlearn all the negative associations the word ‘fat’ has, and try to just accept it as it is: a descriptive word!
As a professional boudoir photographer I definitely have seen that the shape and size of a body has NOTHING to do with its beauty. Every body that comes into my studio is gorgeous and worthy of being celebrated through professional photography. It has nothing to do with size, shape, age…. It has everything to do with the fact that you were created to be perfectly YOU! And that is the most important thing in the world when it comes to photography.
Being fat never means that you are not beautiful. In fact - just the opposite.
If you are fat - you ARE beautiful.
Just the same as if you are thin, bald, short, an amputee, etc…
There is no question about it. This is something we here at LGEmerick Studios and Brave Boss Babe boudoir feel passionately about!
All bodies are beautiful bodies.
But now that I’ve shared my own thoughts about this hot topic - I know many of you may be wondering how you can unlearn the harmful narratives and move towards being more loving towards yourself and others.
Is there hope? Yes! Always.
Here are a few things you can do to train your brain to stop thinking of ‘fat’ as a bad word and accept your body (and others) as they are:
1. Challenge your own comfort around the word ‘fat’.
a.) Use it when you are alone to describe others, yourself… how do you feel?
b.) Take some time to sit down and think about what the word ‘fat’ brings up in your mind with genuine, non-judgemental curiosity - and write them down. What are your own internal assumptions about people you assign the word ‘fat’ to?
c.) Say the word ‘fat’ repeatedly until you feel nothing over saying and hearing it, because that's how it should be - neutral.
AND/OR…
1.) You can say this to yourself everyday: "Fat is NOT a bad word. Fat is a neutral and descriptive word just like tall, short, black, white, straight, queer. Nothing more, nothing else."
Because the more you say things over and over again, the easier they can enter your subconscious, until it just comes natural to you.
Say it, practice it, believe it, and live with it. This will be your first step in not just unlearning the toxic associations to the word ‘fat’, but also tearing down the walls built by society.
2. Stop giving diet advice.
Diet culture can be extremely toxic.
Because unintentionally, anybody giving unsolicited diet advice makes it look like there's something wrong with being fat so there's a need for weight loss.
Unless you are explicitly asked to give advice around someone’s eating, exercise, or medical habits - you should probably just keep your mouth shut. It is not your place comment on what someone is eating, how they are exercising, or what shape their body takes.
It doesn’t matter what your intentions are.
I know you could absolutely feel like you are doing the best thing in the world for someone - but if you are not their doctor, trainer, or someone who is going to walk every step of the way with them towards are different body - you are not the one to comment.
I promise you. Your words are showing WAY more about you than they are about them.
3. Embrace your body and scream it loud and clear.
Once you're successful in making the word fat very neutral to you, instead of using the sugar coated words like thicc, curvy, chubby, use the word fat instead and show people that you have no problems with describing yourself fat because fat is supposed to be used as a descriptor and not an insult.
It’s okay if this takes time.
Rome wasn’t built in a day and there is a lot of external programming that makes it a TALL wall to climb.
Just take each day one at a time and know you are not alone!
4. Remind people that FAT and BEAUTIFUL are not mutually exclusive - even if that is uncomfortable.
Maybe you have had someone tell you or someone you love: "you're not fat, you're beautiful."
If you are in the right place to say that “I can be fat and beautiful", I hope you do! But also just know that those two words do not have to be separated at all. Fat NEVER means you are not beautiful.
And we have to be careful to make sure we let others know that even if we qualify as ‘fat’ we can qualify as ‘beautiful’ without any justification.
Having that said, feel free to use the word fat with other descriptors until people don’t think twice about it!
Remember it took generations to build this lie - so it may take generations to tear down - but we won’t stop!
Say fat and beautiful together, fat and healthy, fat and hardworking, fat and fit, fat and worthy - and eventually the world won’t be able to stop us.
Reclaim the word FAT!
Don't let anyone continue weaponizing it as something that can break spirits. Stand against fatphobia, stand against using the word fat as an insult.
WE DESERVE BETTER!
Thinking of a good way to start in embracing your body and screaming it loud and clear?
Get inspired with these Babes! <3
